In the talk show “Alone with Borovik” discussed whether to give expensive bouquets on first dates

Polina Konoga, a political columnist of SB. Belarus Today, and political scientist Vadim Borovik, on the air of the program “Alone with Borovik” on SBTV, discussed whether expensive bouquets are appropriate at the beginning of relations and what is actually valuable in gifts, writes sb.by.

Polina Konoga drew attention to posts on social networks where girls put out chic bouquets, and then it turns out that they have an empty refrigerator or not enough money for winter tires:

- I am so glad that there is such female solidarity. And then you finish the post: her refrigerator is empty, you need to change your car for the winter, and there is not enough money for tires. And here's the message: Cavaliers spend a lot of money on bouquets, or they might say, "Maybe you can buy something for dinner?" Do you think the girl should hint that instead of roses for crazy money, she needs a set of rubber?

Vadim Borovik believes that gifts and mutual attention depend on the degree of closeness of people:

Sociologists conducted research: from the point of view of psycho-emotional effect, flowers are in the first place, they affect a woman. It's more of a romantic life. Although I believe that on a first date it is either premature to give flowers, or you should give small bouquets. There is no need to have an excessive effect on a stranger. A small bouquet is a sign of attention. A spectacular bouquet is either a confession in feelings, or an offer, or a birthday. But on the first date, it means that you have some kind of inferiority complex or you throw gestures around, which devalues the gift. I am ready to provide financial assistance to my woman, with whom we have family and domestic relations, we live together or make plans. If I give away material possessions to everyone who pays attention, then my future wife will say: “Where you spent all your money, you should have left it for your family.” So when someone tells me it's inappropriate, like, I want this, I say, "We're not close enough." This is a perfectly normal rational response. And no woman left me.

He agreed that if people are already close, the man will understand that you need to help:

- If you are dating or living together for a long time, a man is not a fool, he will understand that she does not have enough for training or she dreamed of some outerwear, manicure courses. It is better to do this in practical terms. Depends on wealth. If you can afford a bouquet, that's fine. If there is a choice, then, perhaps, you can move to the practical plane. At least buy a small bouquet and some practical thing.

When asked whether to give large bouquets, Vadim Borovik replied:

- On a first date, this is not entirely appropriate. You don't know the person. It may be beautiful, but it's empty inside. Why would she have flowers? Just for being beautiful? And if you see that this person is dear to you and you want to show your attitude, of course. I loved giving flowers when I really enjoyed it. Flowers are often carried as a formality. I stopped buying flowers for nothing, I only give them when I want to. If a man in order to spend an evening with a woman and wake up in the morning, you need to give her flowers and gifts - this is an inferior man. And if a woman is ready to accept a man only if he gave her gifts - this is an abnormal relationship. And if people love and care about each other because they are happy together, then these are the most expensive gifts and the most reliable basis.

Pauline Konoga objected that many women had to beg for flowers almost by force. Vadim Borovik explained his position:

- What's the value in this bouquet? She does it because Tanechka had, Xyusha has, and I don't. The most valuable gift is to receive from the man who loves you and who has done it with pleasure. What joy is that? I can buy anything I want. If I keep telling my woman, “Buy me this,” I don’t need a gift from her anymore. When I see that she has done something with her own hands, it is 10 times more pleasant. Never ask for flowers.

Paulina Konoga strongly disagreed:

- It is necessary to give women flowers. And even if they ask, and even if they do not ask, they need to give, love, nurture.

Vadim Borovik summarized:

- Choose partners with whom you will have the same view of these things.