10 jokes about philologists

Today, the theme of the humorous collection “MK in Saratov” is Indian summer.

1.

Write: I, being in a sober mind and sound memory, want to give my apartment.

- Are you sure this is the Total Dictation?

2.

- What caused you to break up?

- Lies.

- Namely?

- I asked him, “Do you want sugar in your coffee?” And he said, "Lies.".

3.

In Dzerzhinsk, a teacher of Russian language and literature was detained while trying to replace the wallpaper sign with both.

4.

Only in Russian you can make a sentence of three vowels: “Eh, and me?”

5.

Nuances of the Russian language.

“Don’t try to convince me” means “No”.

"I don't need to be persuaded" - "Both hands for it.".

6.

After the Mayan calendar, the juun calendar will begin.

7.

That's right, go! But if someone says to me

Go to the sea, I'll pay for everything, I'll go.

8.

The International Congress of Philologists was held. Discuss the origin of the word "stubby".

Italian speaking:

- The word “stubbed” is of Italian origin. In ancient times, the following incident occurred on the Tiber River: a Venetian merchant stole a ship with a cargo. That's how the word was born.

Rising Russian:

Have you ever had anything stolen from Pisa?

9.

In the corridor of the university there is a lawyer and a philologist. A lawyer has a small stack of books, and a philologist is not even visible because of the books. Lawyer horrified:

- Are these textbooks for the session?

Philologist:

- Are you kidding me? It's a literature list for the session!

10.

Stupid case. Questions: what?

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P.S. All jokes are made up. Coincidences with real people or events are random.