How to save a marriage and why not go to a corporate party without a spouse? Discussed in the talk show “Alone with Borovik”

Polina Konoga, a political columnist of SB. Belarus Today, and political scientist Vadim Borovik, on the air of the program “Alone with Borovik” on SBTV, talked about what is the secret of a strong marriage and why you should not go to a corporate party without a spouse. It's from sb.by.

Pauline Konoga said:

A woman in one of the social networks shared that out of curiosity climbed into the phone of her husband and found paid tickets to another country with booked rooms in the hotel. At first she thought he would invite her, but it turned out he had a mistress and was going to go with her. Here's an upset woman from a specially created anonymous account asking what to do.

Vadim Borovik confidently stated:

- What can never be done? Take actions that violate the law, as well as something that will radically change your life and the life of another person for the worse. He came home, caught his wife with another man, killed. That's how they ruin their destiny, take someone's life.

Polina Konoga recalled the high-profile murder of a pregnant woman in Minsk, to which Vadim Borovik noted:

- You can't do that. And throw drugs, kill, kidnap, fasten to the battery out of jealousy. There was a case when a man, learning about his wife’s infidelity, closed himself in the cabin from which the broadcast was conducted, and included pornography with the participation of his wife on the air, because of which he received a criminal case. So he took revenge on her. But what is this revenge? This was seen by outsiders, including children. Do not commit actions that are associated with a threat to honor, life and health. Unfortunately, the percentage of the happiest people on Earth who have lived their entire lives together is low. I wish that was the case in all families. Couples of centenarians who loved each other were ready to sacrifice themselves for the sake of another person, for example, to help and take care when he fell ill, to support in difficult life situations, not enough. The others live together for what reason? First you need to educate children, then social insecurity. Go to any corporate party and see how they behave. That’s why I don’t want women to go to such events without their men. Here in the desert plant the most fertile tree - it will dry, and plant the cutting from the shovel in fertile soil - it will germinate. So why create the conditions for treason? You buy tickets for your woman to fly with her to the resort. Is she gonna count mosquitoes? If you like it, other people will take care of it. Therefore, if you want order in your family, then marriage must be approached consciously, there must be a social, intellectual coincidence. If everything is based only on intimate passion, then there will be betrayal. But if there is mutual respect, trust, desire to preserve the relationship, then there is a great chance that the marriage will be happy. And we cannot rule out treason 100 percent. It’s not a question of this man and this woman. They have a problem, it is their own business, they have to deal with each other. And here the reasons lie not only in physiology, but also in the desire of people to be together. Also, you may not want intimacy with a person, if you do not respect him, you have lost this feeling. Or the partner does not understand that you have a difficult period in life, problems. Many people believe that the cheating happened because they liked the other person. Maybe it's deeper than that. Maybe it's not good together. Of course, we can agitate people to create families, to have children. And in our country, the state has created all the conditions for families: rented housing, an apartment is given for a third child, we are the second in the world in terms of safety of motherhood and childhood. Personal relationships are a very delicate area. Advice to give, especially young psychologists in their twenties, can all. But to live a life without cheating, happily and together to the grave can be a few. We set them up as an example, strive for the best, but do not condemn those who stumble.