Psychologists believe that financial temperament is the key to family happiness

False housekeeping: he was a great economist

According to experts, both men and women have their own fintemperament, and any of its types has the right to life: it is pointless to condemn it, because it is given by nature - like the sexual temperament. The main thing is that our financial temperament does not make our loved ones unhappy or vice versa. And for this, you need to learn how to negotiate on the shore, having previously assessed the prospects for your financial compatibility.

“Financial temperament is not a figure of speech, but a working characteristic of how a person spends money,” says a psychologist-economist (a new formation of specialists who help their patients to establish relationships with money). And you can do it quickly and slowly, with pleasure and reluctantly, through tears and gritting your teeth. Another thing is that the temperament in spending, like the temperament in bed, is often imitated, and with the same purpose - to please a partner. Only ladies at first want to appear frugal, and gentlemen - generous. But in real life, it is often the opposite.

A new kind of life coach with a financial bias originated, as usual, overseas: initially they helped quickly rich fellow citizens to rebuild their “poor psychology” on the way of thinking of a rich person. Today, this is not trending even overseas, so saving gurus have replaced teachers on how to spend. They started with themselves: their prices are lower than their colleagues. Judging by the responses and research data, they are in demand on both sides of the ocean: in the modern world, the number of conflicts caused by the financial incompatibility of men and women is growing every day. In everyday life, this is usually manifested in the idea of mutual reproaches: women often reproach their men for greed, and they respond to them with accusations of wastefulness. In fact, the “misery husband” and the “stranger wife” are nothing more than financial incompatibility in a given couple. And it is useful to know in person, because for a relationship, the discrepancy of “financial temperaments” can be even more fatal than the discrepancy of sexual temperaments.

We've collected stories that illustrate this visually, and with the help of economic psychologists, we've made some organizing conclusions.

Arkady from his youth believed that a good life is when you can not go to work and not die of hunger. Therefore, he convinced his wife Ira that it is better to once again look into the department of the payroll and find everything cheap, as long as you do not go to work, and “fit” the whole family in the income brought by the rented “odnushka”, inherited from the deceased grandmother.

But the wife of Arkady Ira, on the contrary, believes that it is better to work on three jobs, so as not to languish over pennies and on the only weekend to afford delicious food and a trip to the shopping center, rather than to the cheap market.

The conclusion from psychologists: in this family there is a false saving on the part of the husband - he is trying to save money that he does not earn. This suggests that he has no interests even at the belt level - he is ready to deny himself and his family even normal food and simple joys, just to not work. However, laziness can also be an end in itself. But only a complete like-minded person can be happy next to such a person.

Selective greed: aristocrat and shepherd

Marina came to the capital from the periphery with the traditional dream of a provincial woman “to break into people”. Marina went to her goal, sacrificing stormy student leisure: in the evenings she sat in her dorm room over textbooks, saved on food, worked part-time. As a result, she received a red diploma and a job that allows her to meet wealthy and successful men in a professional environment. And once on the job met Sergey – 44 years old, businessman, divorced, intelligent and respected in a professional environment. In his wealth, Marina did not doubt: she saw documents according to which Sergey was the owner of several companies at once, and his whole image spoke of a high standard of living - an expensive car with a driver, a mansion in a prestigious place near Moscow, appropriate costumes, watches and other trifles. Sergey began to take care of her: however, courtship took place not in restaurants and boutiques, which somewhat disappointed the girl, but in museums, galleries and theaters - he was fond of painting and music. But Marina has postponed luxury dinners and luxury shopping until after the main goal of legal marriage has been achieved. And she succeeded: Sergey made an offer.

And here it began. The groom flatly refused a noisy wedding in a restaurant. And if there is no wedding, then you do not need the luxurious dress you dreamed of. The idea of a wedding trip, the newlywed also rejected - he did not want to leave the company unattended. In addition, the new husband did not offer Marina, as she expected, to quit her job and devote all her time to beauty salons and shopping. The housekeeper and the cook handled the household chores. Moreover, he did not indicate a desire to give her money for current expenses, although she saw that he did not regret the funds. According to long-established tradition, every season Sergey was delivered to the house a new pair of suits and shirts from his favorite designer, he ordered a catalog of rare old books and trinkets and participated in antique auctions. Marina once asked her husband why he didn’t give her money?

Sergey was very surprised:

- Honey, I didn't know you needed anything! The servant buys the groceries and everything necessary in the house, you can always use my second car, and your salary should be enough for all sorts of women's trifles.

- Well, here I am. - Marina teased, - I wanted to buy a fur coat! I miss it. And jewelry, too.

"Honey," her husband calmly replied, "if you need clothes, you can choose from the catalog I order from every season." Make your list for my order and I'll pay for it. As for jewelry, if you mean jewelry, then I do not see the point in acquiring them - our way of life does not provide an opportunity to shine them. You know I don't like social parties and all this tinsel!

- Yes, he's a real miser! - Marina complained to her friend. For his old antiques and picture-tie books, he does not pity anything! Why do I need him like that? As I lived on my salary, I live on it.

Conclusion: There is a financial incompatibility in this pair. The interests of the wife “at belt level”: she dreams of not counting money in spending on pleasures of this level – restaurants, shops, parties and outfits. Sergey spends money on his priorities - books, collecting. And it provides life at the level of comfort (food, housekeeper, cars, etc.). On excesses in everyday life, he is not that sorry for money - they are simply not interesting to him.

Financial Compatibility: Happy Together

Psychologists say that there is no “right” fintemperament, and at the same time it is good for those who have it. As proof, examples of unions whose spending habits are not acceptable for everyone, but in these pairs everything is harmonious.

Cheerful spenders. Olya and Vadim both earn well, and both love to live on a big foot. And now that year, in the first two weeks after the payday, Olya and Vadim are chiced as millionaires, and a week before the salary they switch to dry rations and intercept from friends on the road. Even their children are used to this: it is normal for them since childhood that at the beginning of the month they are not denied any whims, and at the end in the refrigerator to ride a ball ... But at the beginning of next month, the holiday will begin again! Good or bad, there is no reason to judge, while Olya and Vadim are happy with each other, and their children are fed, cheerful and well-groomed. Even if the “gull on the latter” seems to someone extremely short-sighted behavior, there is financial compatibility in this particular pair.

To appear, not to be. There are those who spend money of one of the spouses, but within the framework of financial compatibility. For example, Svetlana and Ilya live in a small apartment, only Ilya works, but Sveta loves a beautiful life, and Ilya does everything possible so that his beloved can at least seem wealthy and keep up with her rich friends. As a result, only Svetlana is dressed up in this family, only she goes to expensive resorts, and Ilya receives satisfaction from the fact that she can provide it. He is genuinely pleased when others think that his Svetik has a very rich husband. Sveta never invites anyone to visit, ashamed of the poor situation in a poor apartment. But repairs from Ilya does not require: housing is not included in the sphere of her interests. But once from a trip to Southeast Asia, she brought an expensive two-meter statue to their tiny apartment. She explained her purchase to her husband: “Well, the girls all aghali-oh and bought their houses, I couldn’t hit my face in the dirt!” The husband dutifully attached the purchase of his wife lying in the hallway, she did not fit anywhere else. The husband understood the motivations of his beloved and shared them – there is financial compatibility.

Hottabych syndrome. In the parents’ family under Katya never discussed financial issues, but by default it was believed that Katina Pope always has money. Another thing is that he does not give them to his wife or daughter, but in the case of force majeure, you can always count on him.

Growing up with a sense of financial security, Katya calmly content with small and asked the Pope only in exceptional cases - and their father did not refuse her. Later, Katya just as easily took her husband at his word that he had money, but he does not encourage “stupid spending”.

As it turned out later, Katyn Gleb’s husband quickly realized that any talk about money, let alone lack of money, was a distress signal for his wife. She is used to the fact that finances are managed and managed by a man, and if he consults on this matter with the fair sex, then it is bad. And so when Gleb's firm went bankrupt, he acted with his wife as if nothing had happened.

After gaining loans, Gleb continued to behave like a wealthy businessman, simply not "approving of stupid spending." Fortunately, he managed to get out of the crisis and get back on his feet, and his wife did not even notice that their family hung over the financial abyss for a year. After all, Katyn husband, like her father, continued to behave in the spirit of Hottabych - there is no impossible for us, another question is whether we want to make you rich right now or not. Sometimes peace can be more expensive than money. The main thing is that this approach satisfies both sides.

Tandem of rationalizers. Dasha and Dima are equally clammy. “Family economics should be economical” is their common credo and hobby. They know where the most profitable sales, at what hour expensive supermarkets sell products on the verge of expiration, how to buy burning tours and air tickets with the greatest benefit and settle in decent hotels for half the price, remember all the “happy hours” in their favorite restaurants and dates of large-scale discounts in brand stores. This couple does not save on the quality of food or clothing, travels a lot and by and large does not deny themselves anything, but at the same time makes considerable efforts to get quality goods and services at lower prices. They have everything except, perhaps, the “unbearable ease of being” when you can spend money without thinking about it at all. As a result, Dasha and Dima are happy together, and neither of them will think of accusing the other of greed or, conversely, of waste.

Jading is a disease

Of course, in life there are also such fintemperaments, compatibility with which is impossible in principle: they resemble caricature book characters like the tycoon Jading, the oligarch Scooperfield, the manufacturer Scriagins, Ellochka-man-eater and others (specialists believe that extreme manifestations of both greed and motivation are already in the competence of psychiatry).

“Psychiatric” jades or mots are united by one feature – for them it is an end in itself. These are no longer resourceful rationalizers or cheerful spenders, but convinced parasites and misers who are rarely happy - not only with someone together, but in general in life.