"Can we do it?" A large family - about the third child, experiences and the first months of five

In the Week of Parental Love, which takes place in Belarus from October 14 to 21, the Minsk-Novosti news agency presents the project “Tretsi-Batska” (Tretsi-Batskaитель). In it we will tell about the Minsk families who received the “Batskava Kashul” in honor of the birth of their third child. These are stories about parenthood, family traditions, upbringing and values that are passed down from generation to generation. Each material is about love, care and the joy of being a big family.

“Can we do it?” is one of the most important questions parents have when they think about a third child. A few months ago, Natalia and Artem Byvalov became parents of many children. Now that their youngest son Paul is three and a half months old, the couple admit that before his birth, there were many more questions and doubts than there were difficulties in practice. Their story is told in the framework of the project “Tretsi – Batska” – in the material of the correspondent of the agency “Minsk-Novosti”.

Step by step

The story of Natalia and Artem began with an acquaintance on the Internet. They dated for a few months and then started living together. When the Minsk woman was 22 years old, the couple had their first child – Anton, and two years later – Hope.

- After the birth of children, life changed. But with them it became much more interesting and fun. There were new concerns, more desire to work, develop, do something. When you have a person for whom you do all this, you perceive a lot differently, said N. Byvalova.

The couple did not dream of becoming parents of many children at the beginning of the relationship, but did not exclude such a possibility. An example for them was the older sister of Minsk, who with her husband brings up several children.

- I never set out to give birth to three, but I didn’t consider it difficult or unattainable. My sister has a big family too, and she can handle everything. Moreover, we even have children born in a similar sequence: first a son, then a daughter, and years later another boy. Therefore, we treated the idea of having many children calmly, the woman noted.

“Mom, aren’t we expecting a brother or sister?”

When N. Byvalova learned about the third pregnancy, she did not immediately tell the elders. At first she asked Anton and Nadezhda if they wanted a brother or sister. Soon, the children themselves guessed that a baby would appear in the family.

- They once asked, Mom, are we expecting a brother or sister? Why do you keep asking us questions like that? she recalled. Of course, they were surprised when they found out the truth, but everything went much calmer than I expected.

Most of all, she was afraid that the elders would be jealous of the baby for his mother. When Anton was two years old, he suffered the appearance of his sister. But this time everything turned out differently: the children happily accepted the younger brother and spend time with him.

Family Byvalova II Tretsi - BatskaЬ | The story of a family in which love became more

- Nadia is especially interested in her younger brother. She talks to him all the time, shows him toys and even reminds me that Pasha needs more communication. He tries to teach him something, talks to him as if he already understands everything. She is very interested in watching how he grows, how he begins to play with toys, reach for them with pens, the Minsk woman shared. For now, Pasha is a little man who is interesting to watch and who you want to take care of. I think that when he grows up and starts running and nagging, things can change, but now they are very happy with him.

“Three children are no reason to stay at home.”

Paul is now three and a half months old, and the family is gradually getting used to the new rhythm of life. Cares and expenses have become more, but the Byvalov family is not going to give up their usual rest. In the summer, the couple and their children went out to nature, went to festivals and concerts, and once spent several days in the forest with tents.

- Many people think that if there are many children, it will be very difficult to go somewhere. But we believe that three children are not a reason to stay at home. Seniors still need to take somewhere: they need impressions, something to watch, somewhere to go. So we just pack up and drive. A small child is sometimes even easier. There is a mother, there is food, there is a place where you can sleep, and he is happy, said the parents.

For a family, such trips are an opportunity to spend time together and create memories that will stay with the children for years to come. It is important that Anton, Nadezhda and Pavel have as many joint stories as possible.

- We try to spend as much time together as possible so that the children feel that we are one big family, she added. We try to maintain our traditions: for Christmas and Easter, we definitely meet with my parents, and other relatives come there. Such moments are very close, and it is important that children from childhood feel that they have those people who are always there.

A gift for life

The first months after the birth of a child are quickly left behind: the regime changes, the baby grows, new worries appear. But parents want to keep the memory of the time when the family just got used to the new composition. Byvalovs cherish these warm memories together with "Batskavai Kashulai" - linen baptismal shirt with Belarusian ornament.

Such products are awarded from June 1, when the unique republican project "Tretsi - Batska" was launched. Every family with a third child will receive this gift on behalf of the President. It is laid in a wooden kuffar with an author's legend.

- It was unexpected and very pleasant that such a special gift was prepared for our Pasha, Byvalova said. When he grows up, we will tell him how this shirt came into our family and what it means. We want to keep it so that it will stay with us for years to come.

Paul received the sacrament of baptism in the parish of the Blessed Virgin Mary of the Rosary on July 18. The ceremony was conducted by the rector of the parish of the priest Jan Yushko.

With the third, you already know what to expect

Motherhood at 22 and 33 years old N. Byvalova perceives differently. With the birth of Paul, she returned to the cares of the first months of her baby’s life, but now she has more experience, and next to her two older children, who can also pay attention to her younger brother.

- When you're 22, you're still pretty much a girl. And now you have a different life experience, you perceive a lot of things differently. Although children, of course, are the same: the same tummy, teeth, colic, disease, sleepless nights. Just the attitude to this is different, and with the third already know what to expect, — said the interlocutor.

With the advent of the third child, the Byvalov family had more expenses, household chores and responsibilities. It is necessary to have time to deal with the school affairs of seniors, take into account the interests of everyone and find time for everyone. At the same time, many of the difficulties that the Minsk woman feared during pregnancy after the birth of Paul were not as serious as she imagined.

- When you're pregnant, you start to think, how are we going to do this, how are we going to do this, how are we going to do this, how are our older kids going to do this? And then the baby is born, and you just live. Of course, it's getting more trouble. But with this, there is more love and joyful events, the woman shared.

For those who are just thinking about the third child, Byvalova advised not to scare yourself in advance and not try to foresee all the difficulties. According to her, you gradually get used to the new rhythm, and everyday worries become part of life.

- Small children are a little happiness, a little joy, the Minsk woman assured. For me, a large family is not only the number of children. It’s a lot of love, memories and time we spend together.

Photo by Karolina Prakofieva