Why God’s blessing on marriage is necessary and why family happiness depends on daily work

The Orthodox Church will celebrate on September 13 the autumn day of memory of Prince Peter and Princess Febronia. These are the Murom saints, whose history has become a symbol of strong love, loyalty and the ideal of Christian marriage. Overcoming class barriers and hostility boyars, the couple lived in harmony a long life. In old age, they adopted monasticism with the names David and Euphrosyne. They died on the same day and hour on July 8, 1228. According to legend, their bodies miraculously ended up in the same coffin three times after trying to bury them separately. Their lives are often told in preparatory conversations for one of the main sacraments - the wedding. It was about him that we talked with the cleric of Holy Trinity Cathedral Slonim Priest Nikolai Savitsky.

In the Orthodox Church, a wedding is not just a beautiful ceremony with rings, crowns and candles. It is one of the seven sacraments in which the union of a man and a woman is sanctified in heaven, in the image of the union of Christ and the Church.

- We ask God to bless the marriage, says Father Nicholas. Unlike Baptism, which is often performed in infancy, wedding is a conscious choice of adults who have decided to tie their fates for life.

But why get married if you can just sign the registry office? For a believer, this is not a ritual or a tribute to tradition. It is a request for the grace of God that transforms marriage and helps build a strong marriage on fundamental Christian values.

- Over time, this grace will be felt. Especially in difficult turning points, which every couple undoubtedly faces, the father notes.

However, the priest emphasizes that it is important not to harbor illusions: the sacrament is not a “magic wand”. It becomes a support only for those who are ready to live in a Christian way

- We ask for blessings for everything – for the day, for the road, for meals. Marriage is the most important thing, because the whole path of life depends on it.

At the time of the wedding, the Church asks the bride and groom whether their desire is voluntary and whether a promise is not given to the other. This question is not a formality. At the heart of the family is freedom, not coercion or momentary passion.

“Love is a mature feeling that has been nurtured for years,” Father Nikolai explains. At first, we often confuse it with love. And then the daily choices in favor of each other begin. Without God’s help, it can be very difficult.

It is important for those wishing to get married to understand: the sacrament requires not only organizational troubles, but also an internal attitude. The priest emphasizes that both spouses should come to the wedding with a common desire:

- Often someone coaxes, manipulates or forces, he notes bitterly. Marriage should be a voluntary union for life. As a rule, before the wedding, lectures or conversations are held on the meaning of the sacrament and family duties. Each parish has its own rules, so it is important to first decide on the church where you plan to get married and talk to the priest. Confession and Communion are obligatory, and not as one-off actions, but as part of a permanent spiritual life. The list of necessary things is small, but each of them has a deep symbolism. The traditional set is the icons of the Savior and the Mother of God, wedding rings, wedding candles and a towel. Now there are many beautiful ready-made sets, someone orders icons individually from the masters. Special attention is paid to the crowns that the priest lays on the heads or they are supported by witnesses. Although the sacrament itself can pass without the latter. Father gives an example: there was a wedding, where only the spouses and their small child in a wheelchair were present. Nevertheless, the priest recalls:

The wedding is a celebration in front of the church community. When all the parishioners pray for the family, it is a special joy. However, many people believe that there should be few guests to “not jinx”. We must not believe in the evil eye, but in God.

The priest has the right to refuse the sacrament. The reasons are objective: different faith, lack of baptism in one of the future spouses, clear disbelief in God, even if a person is formally baptized:

- Why marry if there is no faith? asks the rhetorical question of the father. - It's a sacramental profanation. Refusal is also possible in the absence of spiritual preparation or if circumstances arise that interfere with marriage (for example, hidden promises to another person).

It is often asked whether it is possible to marry Orthodox and Catholic. The answer is yes, the Church blesses marriage between two Christians. However, there are nuances, such issues are resolved individually with the priest. And as for "debunking" - there is no such procedure. What is called debunking, in the language of the Church, is the recognition of marriage as having lost canonical force and the issuance of permission for remarriage. To receive a blessing, you need to have good reasons (for example, the death of the first spouse) and submit a written petition to the bishop in the diocesan administration.

One of the most painful topics is the relationship with parents when choosing a life partner. Father Nicholas recalls the words from the Gospel: “... a man will leave his father and mother and cling to his wife.” This is a commandment to create a new independent family.

- Parents may be right, but they may be wrong, says the father. No one knows your partner better than you. The main thing is not to allow hostility.

Father Nikolai gives sad examples when adult children and parents, visiting the same church, do not communicate for years because of the rejection of choice:

- This is unacceptable. If there is a conflict and you go to the same parish, you cannot take communion until you are reconciled. I advise you to arrange before the wedding, so that the celebration is not overshadowed. Parents should pray for their children and let them go free, and children should respect their parenting experience.

Father returns to the main thing: the wedding does not guarantee a cloudless life without quarrels, but gives strength for the daily feat: Marriage is a great work: to forget about yourself for the sake of another person. Learn to negotiate, to endure, to give time. The Church sees its task in reminding: the family is not based on passion, but on sacrificial love. And the sacrament of the wedding is a request for help from above. We promise to live by the commandments. Only then can we count on God’s support.