Psychotherapist called Volgograd residents an unexpected reason for constant lateness
The problem requires professional attention if lateness spoils relationships, interferes with work, causes a persistent sense of shame and helplessness and is combined with manifestations such as apathy, insomnia, panic attacks or severe intrusive thoughts
Psychotherapist Evgeny Kulgavchuk said that constant delays do not always indicate negligence, reports RT in Russian.
In psychotherapy, non-punctuality is seen as a way to avoid an uncomfortable situation. Among the typical ulterior motives, the specialist distinguishes passive aggression - when a person does not dare to directly state that he does not want to go somewhere. Another option is to protest against obligations that feel imposed, which is often the case with tired employees or teenagers. Sometimes being late becomes a form of anxious avoidance: the meeting is frightening and the person is taking time. It also happens that behind the delays there is a desire to emphasize their importance – to unconsciously show that their expectation has weight.
Kulgavchuk also draws attention to the peculiarities of time perception: in people with ADHD or borderline personality structure, the future is felt abstractly. They can’t feel emotionally in advance, because they live mainly in the moment of “now” rather than in a long timeline.
Among the conditions in which systematic delays are especially common, the doctor includes ADHD, depression (it can slow down movements and reactions), various forms of anxiety disorders, borderline personality disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder - in the latter case, the person performs mandatory checks before leaving for a long time.
To better manage time, the therapist advises to rely on external reference points. For example, set timers and alarm clocks with clear captions like “Start packing” or “Get out of the house.” It is useful to apply a simple rule: if it seems that the task will take 10 minutes, it is better to lay 20. It is also important to think about the hidden benefits of being late: perhaps it avoids responsibility, attracts attention, or gives the usual cause for self-criticism.
In addition, it is worth considering the connection between anxiety and the sense of time. When a person is very anxious, the sense of time is distorted. To regain support, the doctor recommends trying 4-7-8 breathing techniques or doing a small physical warm-up before going out - this helps to reduce tension and begin to clearly feel the passage of time again.
