Be yourself: how to adapt to a new team without too much anxiety
The first days in a new team are rarely without anxiety: it seems that everything around has been around for a long time.
The first days in a new team are rarely without anxiety: it seems that everyone around has long been familiar, and there is no place for you. Psychologist Tatiana Grinkevich told the correspondent of the agency “Minsk-Novosti” how to adapt without unnecessary stress.
The photo is illustrative, created by AI
"I'm a stranger here."
Perhaps the most unpleasant feeling in the first days of a new job is that you have entered an already established world where there is no place for you. This is especially true for people who have been working or studying together for a long time. It has its own jokes, traditions, companies, and even routines.
Adaptation is a natural process that takes time. People inevitably feel less confident. Do not take the first few weeks as a test of your own worth. What is at first unusual or a little disturbing is perfectly normal. It is important to give yourself the opportunity to gradually get used to, and not compare yourself with those who have been in this team for a long time, said T. Grinkevich.
The first task is not to become your own as quickly as possible, but to understand how the new environment works. See how people interact with each other, what rules are adopted here, who is responsible for what, what style of communication the leader or teacher prefers.
Stay yourself
The desire to please others is quite natural. The problem begins when a person completely changes their behavior.
For example, in a new job, an employee takes on any additional tasks, even if he does not physically have time to complete them. The company constantly laughs at jokes that do not seem funny.
Photo is illustrative, pexels.com
- Healthy adaptation requires some flexibility. But this does not mean that for the sake of acceptance you need to constantly cross your own boundaries or agree to what is not suitable for a beginner.
If he is constantly trying to please, afraid to refuse or says, and does only what he thinks he is wanted, it is no longer an adaptation, but an attempt to earn acceptance. It is important to remain friendly and open, but at the same time keep your views, interests and the ability to say no.
The ability to adapt to the characteristics of the team really helps. But that doesn’t mean you have to give up your principles. What’s more, trying to prove yourself to be an ideal worker, student or classmate can play against a person. The image that was created in the first days will have to be maintained.
Small steps
Many people think that you need to get acquainted with everyone at once, actively participate in all conversations and certainly find a close friend. In fact, quite small actions:
- 1.say hello first;
- 2.introduce themselves to a roommate;
- 3.inquire about the work process;
- 4.join the conversation if the topic is really interesting;
- 5.offer assistance where appropriate.
Photo is illustrative, photo magnific.com
Such actions seem insignificant, but it is from them that a sense of belonging to the team gradually develops.
A person who is anxious to start a conversation does not necessarily immediately become an active participant in all conversations. You can start with a simple greeting, a short question on work or study, a small line in conversation.
A good reference point is not to ask yourself to please a colleague, but simply to establish contact. If the anxiety is severe, you can prepare some neutral phrases or questions in advance to help start the conversation. Gradually, such situations cease to be perceived as something terrible, and confidence increases, the interlocutor said.
Don’t wait until others take their first steps. When a new person sits silently and avoids socializing, others may decide that they prefer to keep separate when they are actually shy.
The team didn't like it
There's another side. It happens that the newcomer adapted, but realized that this is not his environment. You don’t have to look for the problem in yourself. Companies are really different. Somewhere it is customary to communicate a lot and spend time together, and somewhere the relationship remains exclusively working.
- It’s important to distinguish between temporary discomfort and a persistent feeling that the environment really isn’t right for you. At first, it can be unusual, lonely, anxious, and this does not mean that the team is bad or you made the wrong choice, Grinkevich explained.
The first few weeks are also a time of observation. Not only colleagues look at the beginner, but also the beginner decides whether this place is suitable for him.
It is especially important not to jump to conclusions after one bad day.
Photo is illustrative, photo magnific.com
It's scary to take the first step
Adaptation is harder for some people, especially those who are afraid of being judged by others. Before the first working day, a person can scroll through dozens of scenarios in his head: “What if I say something stupid?”, “And if they do not accept me?”, “And if I do not manage?”.
In this situation, the psychologist recommends replacing the question “How do I look in the eyes of others?” with a more practical “What do I need to know or do now?”. Instead of thinking about whether your colleagues like you, you should clarify the working moments. Instead of waiting for the perfect time to meet, say hello.
- Fear of evaluation often causes a new employee to over-control himself: to watch every word, to think about what impression he makes, and to lose in advance in the head possible failures. It is useful to pay attention to what is in the control zone. This helps to switch from assumptions to real actions. And it is important to remember that others are not as closely watching the beginner as he may think. Everyone has their own tasks and experiences, concluded the psychologist.
The psychological reference point is simple: do not strive to please everyone - strive to be understandable, friendly, respect yourself and others. The rest will come by itself.
For reference
Adaptation is a gradual habituation to people, rules and the rhythm of a new life. Today, you just know where the office is. After a week, you know who to ask. A month later, you discuss your weekend plans with a colleague. And after some time you may find that you yourself explain to the beginner how everything works here.
